The Irish mammy is surely one of the great wonders of this country. Check out these signs and symptoms to see if you’re an Irish mammy!
Gaelic matriarchs are as strong as they are kind, and operate under an inalienable pattern of behaviours that binds them together as a group. Many Irish people find themselves morphing into an Irish mammy as they get older, regardless of gender and parenting status – here are our top five signs that it might be happening to you.
5. You run home to the washing line when it’s wet…or dry
The first sight of sunshine used to send you to a beer-garden – nowadays, it’s straight to the washing line you go, peg basket in hand. You understand the rare joy of good drying, and you aren’t about to pass up an opportunity to have your laundry smelling mountain-fresh without having to spend a cent.
On the other hand, no betrayal compares to the weather forecast tricking you into thinking the rain was holding off, only for it to begin battering the pavements when you’re miles away from clothes that will now need to be put through the washing machine a second time. Pure wasteful.
4. The whole house has to be quiet for the Six One News
You understand that there are loads of different forums to get the latest news on these days. Scrolling through social media, you get real-time links to articles and videos about all the latest local and international happenings – but it’s just not the same as watching the RTE Six One News.
There’s something about kicking back with a cuppa and having things you’ve already heard about said to you again by the soothing voices of presenters you’ve known and loved for years that just relaxes you.
When you hear the distinctive ding-dong of the Angelus, the rest of the room knows to be quiet, lest they are at the receiving end of some serious Irish mammy wrath.
3. You’re fascinated by other peoples’ temperatures
You want to know what people are wearing underneath their clothes, but not in a filthy way – you’re concerned on a cold day about whether Eileen in the office is wearing a vest under that lovely frock, because if not, the damp will go straight into her lungs.
You catch yourself staring in disbelief at the young wans in bars with their bare legs out in the middle of winter, and sometimes you even find yourself asking them in the toilet queue if they’re not freezing.
When going away with friends, you’re the one in the group chat reminding everyone to pack a warm coat because you just can’t trust the weather forecast (see point five). You may be giving out serious Irish mammy vibes, but at least you’ll never get frostbite.
2. You kind of love when someone gets sick
Now, we don’t mean seriously ill – you’re an Irish mammy, not a crazy person – but a mild ailment, now that’s your time to shine. Never mind antibiotics, you’re straight in there with your home remedies passed down through generations.
Nauseous? A drop of flat 7up is your man. Irish people love 7up so much that ranks very high on the list of the soft drinks that Irish people love. Sore throat? You’re mixing the salt gargling blend. Aching feet? Pop a slice of bread in the sock overnight, and it’ll all be grand. These tricks are your calling card, and it’s many a pal that has you to thank for their speedy recovery.
Extra points if you deliver your cures to the suffering party while referring to them as ‘’love’’ or ‘’pet’’.
1. You keep a bag of bags in your hot press
When the Irish mammy traits become very advanced, there’s a curious phenomenon that begins to surface. It’s less about saving the environment and more about begrudging spending money on something as daft as a plastic bag, to be honest. Still, you somehow can’t bring yourself to part with any carrier of goods.
You keep a collection of bags away from the eyes of visitors, all neatly piled inside the largest of the group. There’s a wide selection of bag involved. There are the Bags for Life you shelled out for reluctantly, the paper bags from clothes shopping, and the gift bags revellers brought into the house at Christmas.
You gather them all together, waiting for the appropriate moment to reuse them. The paper bags are great for carrying a spare pair of shoes in. You’re sure to keep a mental note of who gave you what gift bag – to spare you the mortification of re-gifting it to the original gifter.
The only thing is – you never seem to remember to put the Bags for Life in your car when you nip out to get the grocery shopping. If you’ve ever caught yourself having a tantrum in the Tesco car park for this very reason, you’re absolutely and completely an Irish mammy.
