Top 20 funny Irish sayings to get you laughing

Fancy a chuckle? We’ve rounded up the top 20 funny Irish sayings for your amusement.

The people of Ireland have survived some dark times throughout our history. Through famine, oppression, and civil war, we have managed to reach the other side. But no matter what hardships we have faced, we have never truly lost our sense of humour.

Whether sarcastic, weird, or just plain wise, humorous sayings and proverbs that originate from the Emerald Isle have now spread across the globe. We’ve put together some of the best below.

Check out our list of the top 20 funny Irish sayings if you fancy a chuckle.

20. In heaven there is no beer; that’s why we drink ours here.

One of the top funny Irish sayings is: In heaven there is no beer; that’s why we drink ours here.

It’s no secret that many Irish folks are fond of Guinness, and this is perfectly encapsulated in this saying.

19. May the cat eat you and the devil eat the cat.

Fancy a more unique insult to hurl an enemy’s way? This could be the one for you.

18. Who gossips with you will gossip of you.

There’s often some wisdom in Irish proverbs that have been handed down through the generations.

17. Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover? You don’t want to press your luck.

One of the top funny Irish sayings mentions four-leaf clovers

In Irish mythology, it has long been believed that finding a four-leaf clover is a sign of good luck. This saying makes good use of this tradition.

16. Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbour. It makes you shoot at your landlord, and it makes you miss him.

While we enjoy this phrase, we advise you not to try this at home.

15. May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.

We think everyone can relate to this Irish proverb.

14. May the Lord keep you in His hand and never close His fist too tight.

The Irish love a bit of dark humour. Look closely at any famous Irish phrase and you’re likely to find a euphemism for death or a sexual innuendo in there somewhere.

13. If you’re lucky enough to be Irish, then you’re lucky enough.

One of the top funny Irish sayings is: If you’re lucky enough to be Irish, then you’re lucky enough.

People don’t talk about ‘the luck of the Irish’ for nothing!

12. May the Good Lord take a liking to you — but not too soon.

While there are many religions practiced in Ireland today, Catholicism remains the predominant religion here. This is clear from many of Ireland’s ancient proverbs.

11. He who keeps his tongue keeps his friends.

Irish people are known to be friendly and jovial folk, which has won them many friends. But after a few pints, we could all benefit from taking these words to heart!

10. Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part.

Renowned for their many blessings, the Irish love a good rhyme to go along with their well-wishes.

9. You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.

You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.

Whatever start you may have had in life, there comes a point when you have to make your own future, something this proverb sums up pretty well.

8. May you live to be a hundred years, with one extra year to repent.

Previous Irish generations may have been concerned with getting through the pearly white gates, but they were also advocates for having a good time.

7. This isn’t a hangover – it’s the Irish flu.

For better or for worse, Ireland has become synonymous with having a few pints too many.

6. A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.

This article may be able to help you with the first one of these, but you’re on your own with the second.

5. You must take the small potato with the big potato.

One of the top funny Irish sayings is: You must take the small potato with the big potato.

This saying is an encouragement to accept your lot – all of it. And what better way to illustrate this than with the country’s favourite vegetable!

4. May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my grandmother’s teeth.

No offence to our grandmothers, of course. The older generations of Ireland didn’t have the same access to dental care that we do today, something they’ll be quick to tell you.

3. As you slide down the bannister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.

Whether it is a road, the weather, or a bannister, we love a good metaphor for life on this island.

2. Don’t let the door hit you on the arse on the way out!

This is one of those funny Irish sayings that is a little blunt, perhaps, but it gets the point across.

1. I’m Irish and Catholic – see my picture in the dictionary next to the word guilt.

You don’t know the meaning of ‘Irish guilt’ until you’ve met an Irish person.