Irish are friendly people. In fact, we’re considered some of the warmest in the world. In 2018 Condé Nast Traveler’s annual reader survey listed Cork, Dublin and Galway as three of the top 10 friendliest cities in the world.
Yet, even though us Irish love a good chinwag and smiles all around, there is a fair bit the Irish don’t share with their comrades. Here are the top 10 things Irish people will think but never say out loud!
10. “Stop with the baby photos!”
Baby photos are cute – we get it – but seeing a baby pop up on your newsfeed throughout the day starts to get old, fast.
The worst offenders send baby photos to you by direct message, so there is no escape. And, even though the words “STOP with the baby pictures” are playing on repeat in your head, it seems the only words you can find are “so cute!” and “he looks just like his daddy!”
9. “You’re ripped, we get it!”
Health and fitness saw a renaissance in Ireland in the past couple of years. Gym memberships sky-rocketed while a newfound love for protein and tight t-shirt wearing men and women dominated towns across the country.
Although we envy your chiselled jaw and your sexy six-pack, it’s also 8 degrees outside so put on a jumper, “you’re ripped, we get it”. Nevertheless, the height of honesty translates to “you’re looking fab!”
8. “Could you walk any slower?”
Regardless of whether you’re in a rush or not, slow-walking citizens have a strange ability to evoke rage.
It somehow seems that any time you’re running late, you get stuck behind Driving Miss Daisy. And, while your inner Buddha is telling you to “chill the f**k out”, all that is going through your mind is “could you walk any slower?”
7. “Stop with the #takemeback photos!”
Congratulations: you were in Bali once, for 10 days, in an all-inclusive resort, two years ago – it’s time to move on.
The #takemeback photos have gotten far too old and although we’re screaming “STOP!” inside, a “like” on Instagram is a far more likely response. Needless to say, this is one of the top things Irish people think but never say.
6. “Will this one ever stop talking?!”
There’s always the one person who never knows when to give it a rest. To that person – you know who you are – inside we’re screaming “will this one ever stop talking?!!!”
5. “This must be Lyon’s!”
The Irish are heavy tea drinkers, amongst other things. While the battle between Barry’s and Lyons for best Irish tea has long be fought (the clear winner being Barry’s), there’s nothing worse than being served a gross cup of tea and all you can think is “this must be Lyons”.
4. “You’re not Irish!”
It is claimed that over 70million people worldwide share Irish heritage – a whopping amount seeing as we are a small island country of only 6.6 million.
And, while Irish people are proud as punch of their Celtic roots, which stretches back centuries, there is nothing more frustrating than hearing a tourist spout off about how they’re Irish, too!
Now don’t get us wrong – we’re not saying you don’t have Irish heritage, but at the same time, all we can think is “you’re not Irish!” Without doubt one of the top things Irish people think but never say.
3. “Feck the match, Dancing With The Stars is on”
The Irish are mad about their sports, and a lot goes into supporting the local lads, or as we call them, the “boys in green”. Saying that sometimes all you want to do is kick back and indulge in some trashy reality TV gold.
Take a scan around the room, and you can literally read someone’s mind screaming out “feck the match, Dancing With The Stars is on”.
2. “No, I don’t want another round”
Rounds, rounds, rounds. The fast-paced, comrade-style way to share and purchase alcoholic drinks with your mates. You may think it, but no one is likely to say, “no, I don’t want another round”.
1. “No, I don’t want another bloody cup of tea!”
As previously stated in #5, tea is a massive part of Irish culture. It runs through our veins and is part of our every being, alongside Pat the Baker, Mr Tayto and Guinness.
Saying that, sometimes you get to that point where all you want to shout out is “no, I don’t want another bloody cup of tea”. A more likely comment, however, is “oh that’d be lovely, thanks!”