Ireland is known for its pubs, and many people take to Google to express their opinions of them. Here are 10 hilariously depressing reviews of famous Irish pubs.
The vast majority of us take a back seat to online reviews. While most of us wonder where on Earth people get time to write such detailed reviews, we also shamelessly love the fact that the Internet is populated with them, and often base our decisions on them too.
For these 10 reviewers who have taken to Google to put out their point of view on these famous Irish pubs, thank you! Although they are a little depressing, they’re also quite humorous.
Note: These reviews are quoted verbatim, with no changes whatsoever to wording, spelling, or punctuation.
10. Kehoe’s Pub, Dublin
This traditional Irish pub set in the heart of Dublin is as local as you can get. Small in size, with little snugs and cosy feels by the bucket load, it is safe to say this place has been listed time and again as one of the best pubs in Dublin – not to mention that it is considered as having one of the best pours of Guinness on the go!
This reviewer was too concerned about its assembly points to notice all the “pros,” it seems: “Dirty and over crowded, fire hazards ever where”.
9. The Palace, Dublin
The Palace is a quaint Victorian watering hole in Dublin, just off Temple Bar. It is intimate and traditional with a no-TV, no-music, old-school kind of vibe. It is a steady favourite of locals who opt for a pint of “the black stuff” (Guinness) and a freshly made toasted sandwiches, no doubt.
This customer’s review paints a somewhat grim image, however: “Expensive, bland, lifeless, tourist façade”.
8. Kelly’s Cellar, Belfast
This spot in Belfast is one of the most famous (if not the most famous) in all of Northern Ireland. Other than hosting some world-class celebrities in its time, it is packed nightly with locals and tourists who come from far and wide for a pint and good banter all around.
Not this customer, however: “Dear for a dirty hole”.
7. The Temple Bar, Dublin
The Temple Bar has to be one of the most sought-after pubs in all of Dublin. Sitting in the cultural quarter of Dublin, Temple Bar, this is most frequented by tourists looking to get a little insight into Irish pub culture.
This customer seems to have grown old here, however: “place for wasting life time”.
6. The Quays Bar, Galway
This quirky traditional pub in Galway is clad with church-style pews and intriguing architecture. While most pubs in Galway are known to have an electric atmosphere and unforgettable dynamic, this reviewer seems to have a contrasting opinion: “Avoid like the plague”.
5. Grogans, Dublin
Grogans is one of Dublin’s leading pubs. It is small and dingy but in a totally lovable, classic kind of way, making it one of the best spots to hang out in, any night of the week. Seems we can’t all agree, however!
This reviewer says: “Too packed with art types and poets”.
4. The Dirty Onion and Yardbird, Belfast
This Belfast hotspot is a trendy place to be over the weekend and attracts a steady stream of locals and tourists. All we can say, though, is we hope this review is in regards to the food the Yardbird (the pub’s rotisserie chicken restaurant) was serving!
“I’ve ate bigger pigeons ffs where you get them birds???”
Note: “bird” is also a slang word used for “women”.
3. Old Oak, Cork
Most of us would rejoice in the concept of free drinks, especially in one of Cork’s most famous public houses. This reviewer, begs to differ!
“The Old Oak bar is an absolute kip!!! I probably wouldn’t even go there if there was free drink!!!!!!!”
2. Neary’s, Dublin
Neary’s is one of Dublin’s leading bars. Set at the back door of the Gaiety Theatre, this spot is often frequented by actors, musicians and talent scouts, making it one of the capital’s most famous hangouts.
This customer seems to have an alternative opinion, though: “Total kip. Barman has a personality of a stone. Been all over Europe and this by far is the worst pub”.
1. The Grand Central, Dublin
When it comes to famous Irish pubs, the Grand Central in Dublin is a top spot. Set in what was once an old bank, it has an upscale setting with TVs for live sports, fresh-off-the-grill pub grub and a creative menu of house cocktails and “back bar” (luxury) spirits.
Someone by the name of Paul should be avoided though, apparently: “If you want to be insulted by a barman then this is the place for you. Just ask for Paul.”